It was a life-altering journey that began with a single vision: To raise funds for suicide prevention.
Katie Coe, 23, has always believed in giving back, helping after Hurricane Sandy and volunteering in the Philippines.
This winter, she made plans to set off on the adventure of a lifetime, biking across France and Spain to raise funds and awareness for suicide prevention. According to her You Caring page, Coe was motivated to help shine the light on suicide prevention after Ricky Metz took his own life on September 29, 2014.
“We can’t always see the pain someone else feels,” Coe said.
After hearing about how his suicide tore his mother’s heart, Coe, who graduated from Mattituck High School in 2009 and Hofstra University in 2013, vowed to make a difference. Her plan to travel to Paris via Dublin kicked off on January 21-22. “The ride will be dedicated to Ricky Metz, and will raise awareness and funds for suicide prevention. My personal goal of the 1300-1500 km. will be to let each and every day be simply beautiful,” she wrote on the page.
Coe raised $3,500, all of which was donated to the Long Island Crisis Center in Metz’ name.
What followed were six weeks of a 1000-mile journey that was at times, physically grueling, sleeping in tents, biking in frigid temperatures with freezing hands and feet, and finding herself impossibly lost at many junctions. In her blog, Coe described days of “riding up and down mountains in storms full of hail and 50 kmph wind. Crazy times.”
When she finally arrived home in early March, Coe had difficulty finding the words to shape what the journey meant, emotionally and spiritually.
“I never expected to be challenged in as many ways as I was, and I never expected to desire so intensely at times to quit,” Coe said. “I never actually contemplated quitting, but the idea seemed so lovely. I’m too stubborn to be a quitter, which is sometimes more stupid than determined or brave, but that stubbornness allowed me to see what strength I really hold. Nothing about the trip was easy, but it was beautiful. Even ugliest, hardest days were beautiful.”
Reflecting, Coe said the journey “brought me a type of pureness: in freedom, raw beauty, and struggle, which is, I suppose, why I was there. Its a hard thing to process, maybe because it was a hard thing to accomplish, but this trip, even more than past experiences, has reminded me that it isn’t things that make me happy, but moments, people, experiences. It’s the stuff that becomes a part of me, rather than surrounding me uselessly. I’m better for taking on this wild adventure. I understand more about strength, and about beauty, and I think maybe that sleeping on a cliff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean on the Northern Coast of Spain can ease heartache.”
Even the trip home was daunting: It took Coe 36 hours to get from her hotel in Madrid back to her house in Mattituck: one taxi ride, some hours in the Madrid airport, one flight to Dublin, one night of sleeping on the airport floor, some more hours in the Dublin airport, one flight to JFK, which diverted to Philadelphia, when the started to run low on fuel because JFK closed due to snow, where she sat on the runway for five hours before taking off again, a bit of time at JFK, and a snowy car ride home.
“Aside from being a restless because I hate sitting still, I wasn’t bothered. To be warm, dry, sitting on a soft seat, fed, watching movies, not carrying, pedaling, or pushing anything felt like luxury. Or maybe it was the temporary, sudden lack of a ‘responsibility’ to deal with anything as I handed control of the next seven, or 13, hours over to the pilot. And that night on the airport floor? One of my best night’s sleep in a month. Sure I can handle what might seem like a ‘challenging day.’ But what I learned in six weeks of actually challenging days was that I really struggle to handle that.”
Coe said that the experience has heightened her sensitivity toward those who’ve experience the suicide of a loved one. “The issue of suicide is very hard. I can only speak for myself when I say what we ‘should do’. Speak kindly, and speak often. Always reach out to someone in need, and when you are in need. Ask for help. If you find one thing that ‘saves’ you, hold on to it forever, and never hesitate to go there. Bullying is never even a little bit okay. Depression is brutal. You never know how someone is feeling, so share your love with them.”
