Home News Local News North Fork couples celebrate Supreme Court’s landmark decision on same-sex marriage

North Fork couples celebrate Supreme Court’s landmark decision on same-sex marriage

Laura Held, left, and Lori Cohen on their wedding day last year. SoutholdLOCAL courtesy photo.

Lori Cohen and Laura Held, who live in Greenport, will mark their first wedding anniversary on July 6. And today, the couple shared their joy and celebrated with the nation as the Supreme Court ruled, in a landmark 5 to 4 vote, that same-sex marriage is a right guaranteed by the United States Constitution.

“We’re feeling great today,” Cohen, president of the North Fork Women for Women Fund, said. “We never thought we would see this day in our lifetime.”

Growing up as a lesbian, Cohen said she watched her friends begin to get married. “It wasn’t painful. I don’t think I was sad. I just thought it was never an option for me. But when I came out to my parents  — I’m 54, so this was 30 years ago, and the world was a different place — they were worried I’d have a hard life, that people would discriminate against me and that I wouldn’t be able to have children or get married.”

Cohen and Held, attorneys who’ve been together for more than 11 years, met in New York City. As they followed the court rulings and then, witnessed the day when same-sex marriages were legally recognized in New York in 2011, they watched doors open.

“It gets into your head that, ‘Wow, maybe this is a possibility for us’,” Cohen said.

Their wedding, a small ceremony held in the backyard of their home, was filled with close family and friends. “It was surprisingly moving, for both of us,” Cohen said. “We both cried.  My mother and my sister cried. Everyone cried. All those cliches about declaring our love and commitment to each other in front of friends and family — it does mean something.”

Reflecting on their wedding, which dawned sunny and beautifully blue, Cohen said. “It was a great day. Now every single person, whether gay or straight, can have that same day.”

Challenges still lie ahead, Cohen said. “As a country, we still have battles to fight.” But, she said, as people’s eyes and hearts are opened, progress will continue to flourish. “It will change, the more people who see that gays and lesbians as we are — we’re their neighbors, their teachers, their friends, their family. We’re just like everyone else. There’s nothing different about us, except who we love. And the more people realize that, I think that’s what turned the tide in this country.”

Public opinion has shifted dramatically, making way for today’s historic vote — one that could not have have been imagined even five years ago, Cohen said. “When celebrities started coming out, people started coming out. They felt safe. People are afraid of what they don’t know. We come in all shapes, sizes and colors.”

Locally, the North Fork Women for Women Fund has, for 30 years, pioneered the way for empowering lesbians in the area who need help in times of crisis, providing grants for medical care, dental work and other health care needs. “Women of means realized other women aren’t of means and might need help,” Cohen said.

Each year, the group raises between $20,000 and $30,000 through events such as an annual auction, tennis tournament, and a pride party, which will be held tomorrow at the couple’s Greenport home. The Celebrate Pride event takes place at 455 Inlet Lane in Greenport from 5 to 8 p.m. and includes dancing and food. Tickets are $35 at the door.

Waking up this morning, Cohen said she and Held were “cautiously optimistic” about the Supreme Court vote. Tonight, she said, “We’re absolutely ecstatic.”

East Marion residents Barb Pfanz and Robin Imandt just celebrated their 27th anniversary. “We’re really happy,” Pfanz said. “We’re waiting for our friends from Detroit to come out next month and we’re going to Town Hall to get married,” she said.

Growing up “back in the day,” Pfanz said the landscape was dramatically different. “When we came out, it was just unheard of. Marriage was not on our radar. It wasn’t even an issue. Now it’s like, ‘Are you going to be respectful of me?'” She laughed.

Of the Supreme Court decision, Pfanz said, “We’re thrilled, and we’re thrilled for everyone else.”

Today’s landmark victory, Pfanz said, marks “one step forward. This means that it’s all come together.”

 

 

SHARE