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‘Silence is killing us:’ North Fork LGBTQ community members speak out at vigil

As the sun set in Southold last night, more than a hundred people crowded the town green at Silversmith’s Corner.

“Imagine all the people, living life in peace,” some held hands as they sang, led by Southold graduate Elizabeth Bannon. “I hope someday you will join us, and the world will be as one.”

They were gathered there to honor the lives and memory of the 49 people who died on June 12 in Orlando.

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Holding their candles, vigil attendees joined in for the final chorus of “Imagine” by John Lennon. Photo: Courtney Blasl.

Carolyn Peabody, a member of both the task force and the LGBTQ community, began the event by reading off a long list of places where vigils had been held, both in the United States and abroad.

“Why do we come together at all of these vigils after this act of unspeakable hate?” Peabody asked the crowd. “I believe we come together because as human beings we must come together. We must connect with each other as human beings.”

“Today we reject silence and choose to have a voice,” said Marj Snyder of the North Fork Women for Women Fund. “We will have to be [the victims’] voices now. Today, we reject violence and choose peace. Today, we reject fear and choose hope. Today, we reject hate and we choose love.”

A large crowd gathered on the town green for a candlelight vigil yesterday. Photo: Courtney Blasl.
A large crowd gathered on the town green for a candlelight vigil yesterday. Photo: Courtney Blasl.

The vigil was put together by the Southold Anti-Bias Task Force and Supervisor Scott Russell, and is just one of many in the local area this week. Greenport Village will hold a service this Thursday.

“We are a people who refuse to be defined by the hate of extremists. We come together to assert that love is stronger than hate,” Peabody said. “We are a community that will not let hate splinter us.”

In addition to a musical performance by Bannon accompanied by local guitarist Rob Europe, dancers from MainStage Dance Academy Lyrical Company put on a poignant rendition of “Letters from the Sky” by Civil Twilight and poets of Poetry Street recited a piece written for the occasion.

Elizabeth Bannon and Rob Europe perform "Imagine" by John Lennon. Photo: Courtney Blasl.
Elizabeth Bannon and Rob Europe perform “Imagine” by John Lennon. Photo: Courtney Blasl.

Religious leaders from five local houses of worship also spoke, offering words of prayer, sympathy and encouragement to the LGBTQ community.

“This was not just a terror attack, it was done by a terrorized person who could not harmonize his own life,” Rabbi Gadi Capela of Congregation Tifereth Israel said. “The context that he lived in… it could happen in any religion that pushes you over and says ‘god does not love you.’ That is a very dark place.”

“We’re going to have a recitation. Here are the words Jesus had to say about LGBTQ people,” the Rev. Dr. Peter Kelley from First Presbyterian Church of Southold said, before stepping away from the mic for several long seconds of silence. “Recitation over,” he said to applause.

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The Rev. Dr. Ann Van Cleef speaks at the vigil. Photo: Courtney Blasl.

While the speakers honored the lives lost, they also delivered a message: “we can not stand for this.”

“We’ve come together to share our grief and show our unity. However our response — any response — is inadequate,” Russell said. “When this service ends you will not be content, and you will not be at peace, because you know you are living in a culture that can let this happen.”

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The scroll with the list of victim’s names seemed almost endless as Sonia Spar, co-chair of the Southold Anti-Bias Task Force, read them aloud. Photo: Courtney Blasl.

When first asked to speak at the event, Rev. Dr. Margaret Cowden, who lives in Greenport with her wife, said she was unsure she would be able to “find words” to say about the tragedy.

“I was struck dumb by the mixture of heartache, loss and confusion over such unspeakable violence,” she said. “I asked for time to think about it, but within five minutes I came to this conclusion: I must find words, because silence is killing us.

“Silence in the face of hateful, homophobic speech — whether from politicians, talk-show hosts, commentators or religious leaders — is killing us.”

Cowden confessed a few months ago she stayed silent in the face of transphobia, when she witnessed someone making derogatory remark towards a transwoman.

“I confess with considerable shame that I left in silence. I didn’t speak up because I could not find the words fast enough. We must find the words, because silence is killing us,” she repeated.

“We may not be able to finish this work, but we dare not abandon it,” Cowden said. “We must find the words, for love must prevail.”

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The handwritten scroll reads “49 lives remembered.” Photo: Courtney Blasl.

 

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Courtney Blasl
Courtney is a freelance photographer, videographer, web designer and writer. She is a lifelong Riverhead resident.