Two months after Greenport resident Mike O’Brien went missing, his wife and family continue to hope fervently for his safe return.
On December 28, Mary O’Brien said her husband left their home and never came back. And since then, his heartbroken family has not heard a word about where he may have gone or what might have happened.
Life has gone on, Mary said. The couple’s oldest son Michael Jr. proudly welcomed a baby, Aubrey Marie O’Brien, into the world on February 6.
“It was wonderful,” Mary said. “But it’s also sad that he’s not here to enjoy it.”
The baby’s birth, as well as waking up to bleak mornings of uncertainty, have been the hardest parts so far, since her husband walked off and went missing without a trace, she said.
When she last saw him, O’Brien said her husband was wearing blue sweatpants, white and blue New Balance or Nike sneakers, a green Carhartt jacket, and a mustard yellow-colored flannel shirt with a T-shirt underneath.
She added that when his pickup was found in the Cross Sound Ferry parking lot, her husband had left the keys behind, in a spot where he normally hid them when leaving the vehicle in the past.
Southold Town Police have not been able to locate O’Brien, and potential leads of her husband possibly being sighted in Riverhead or staying in local homeless shelters have grown cold.
“I honestly don’t think there’s anything we can do at this point. If he’s around, he’s not nearby,” O’Brien said.
Some have speculated on the grim reality that O’Brien may have taken his own life, at high tide. “If he’s in the water, there’s nothing we can do at this point, with all the ice,” she said.
The lack of answers, Mary said, is the most grueling. “It’s just hard, every day, not to know.”
The last two months have not been easy, Mary admitted. “It’s extremely hard. I have good days when I think he’s alive, and I have bad days, when I think he’s gone.” Showing a photo of her beautiful grandchildren, Mary said, “This is what keeps me going.”
And yet, she said, life continues, days continue to fade into a tapestry of time, hard as it may seem. “I have to just keep going forward,” she said. “All I can do is wait and pray.”
Mary said she wanted to thank the countless members of the community who have embraced her family with love and support during their darkest hours. “Thank everyone for praying, and for all your thoughts. That’s all we can do, is to keep praying.”
Her sister Jennifer has been her steadfast companion, Mary said, leaving her husband and two boys in Tennessee in the second week of January and staying by her side ever since.
Others have sent Facebook messages daily, sending love and support.
“People have been wonderful,” she said.
Southold Town police said they have not had any new clues. “There really is not a lot more to report on this missing person case,” Southold Town Police Chief Martin Flatley said. “We have tracked down a few unsubstantiated leads, the homeless shelter spotting being one, without any success.”
Last month, O’Brien said her pastor told her that some guest of Maureen’s Haven, a local homeless program, said they’d recognized his photo and said they’d seen him last in Riverhead, possibly boarding a bus.
“We have not conducted any further specific searches of areas other than the normal patrol checks being conducted by officers,” Flatley said. “We covered the entire area along Orient Point beaches and land in between.”
Flatley said authorities created a Missing Persons poster, but added, “Through our law enforcement information sharing networks, Mr. O’Brien’s picture and full description of this case has been posted since its inception.”
O’Brien, 55, a Greenport native, is described as being a white man, 6′ tall, with brown hair and a beard, weighing 250 lbs.
Flatley said in January he met with members of O’Brien’s family “to discuss any newer thoughts, ideas or theories that we may use to develop leads with, just to make sure we are all on the same page.”
“I’m frustrated at this point,” O’Brien’s wife Mary said in Janurary. “I feel there could be more done.”
Loved ones have considered every scenario. “It’s a long shot, but maybe he was able to get on a bus, and is in a homeless shelter. He was feeling that low,” Mary said, adding that local houses of worship that host Maureen’s Haven, the East End’s homeless program, had been given photos of her husband to pass out, with the hope that someone might recognize him.
Mary O’Brien said her husband might also be staying in an empty house in Orient, could be in the woods, or might even have found a boat on the beach and taken it out on the water. To that end, she asked anyone to take note of whether or not they were missing a boat left on the beach near where her husband disappeared in Orient.
Friends, she said, have been walking in the woods, searching. “He could be on the South Fork. He could be up west. I don’t know,” she said.
“He abruptly left the house without any personal belongings in his vehicle and has not contacted his family since then,” Flatley said, after O’Brien first went missing. “Our officers completed an initial investigation, but were not able to locate him. A missing persons report was filed and his information transmitted to all police sites.”
Police located the vehicle belonging to O’Brien at the Cross Sound Ferry parking lot in Orient Point. Flatley said after reviewing videotape from surveillance cameras, “We saw a man arrive in the truck belonging to Mr. O’Brien exit his truck and walk east from the ferry terminal toward the beach.”
Reflecting on the days leading up to his disappearance, Mary said they shared a warm family Christmas. “It’s totally out of his character to have done something like this,” she said. “There had been no talk of him going anywhere. We had a wonderful Christmas.” Although money was scarce, Mary said she and her husband were able to buy gifts for the children and a new iPhone for her mother; her husband, she said, spent “45 minutes on Christmas Eve, showing her how to use it.”
Her voice laced with tears, Mary shared memories of the man she’s loved since she was five years old. “I’ve been with this man for 29 years,” she said. “I knew I was going to marry him when I was a child.”
As a little girl, Mary said she would watch O’Brien walk past her house; she’d run to the dining room window to watch him do wheelies on his motorcycle. “He’s been in my life since I was a child, but back then, he had no idea of how I felt. I’ve known him my whole life. Mike and I have been through hell and back together, literally, and we’ve always found our way back to each other.”
In recent days, Mary said her husband was “depressed,” and worried about finances and a lack of work. “But we’ve been through this before, no money, no work. It’s not anything new for us,” she said.
Over the past year, however, Mary said her husband suffered greatly after losing his sister — and most recently, his beloved dog, Jake, a lab/hound mix who went everywhere with him in the back of his truck. “That dog was his life,” she said. “If Jake was here, I’d take him out to that beach and he’d find my husband.”
Her husband, Mary said, was also very close to his granddaughter Abby, 2, who lives with the couple and their daughter. “Her favorite thing is to get up and sit on Mike,who she calls ‘Be Ba,’” she said.
Her husband, Mary said, is a gifted wood craftsman; when their dog was sick with cancer, he’d craft ramps to help make Jake’s life less painful.
“He was depressed,” his wife Mary said, adding that her husband, a carpenter, “drove off in his Chevy pickup truck,” leaving his cell phone behind. “He left everything home.” While he does have a coat and his wallet, Mary said her husband has no cash and no credit cards.
“I can’t imagine where he would go,” she said, adding the couple have children and grandchildren. “He’s a good man with a good heart and he loves his family more than anything,” she said.
Anyone with information is asked to call Southold Town police at 631-765-2600.
