During the darkest of hours, even the smallest acts of human kindness mean everything.
And in the days and weeks since Mattituck’s Benjamin Pileski, 20, was critically injured after being struck by a taxi in Montauk on July 5, it’s the outpouring of love and prayers from friends old and new that have buoyed the spirits of his family.
Most recently, Benjamin’s mother, Gwen DeFriest, posted on Facebook that since she has gone back to work from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. and then heads straight to St. Charles Hospital to be with him, she’s found it hard to prepare dinners for her son Zach and herself.
Friends came immediately to the rescue: Fellow Navy mom Cathie Doherty created a page on the “Take Them A Meal” website. “Gwenda and Zach can really use some meals to help them out. With all of their time being spent working or at the hospital with Ben, they really don’t have the time or energy to worry about themselves and I thought it would be great if we can help with that,” she wrote.
The meals, she said, are for two people and can be delivered to their house; the best times for delivery would be 3:30 p.m. to 5 .pm. A cooler will be left for the food, so if the food is left earlier in the day, those helping out are asked to bring a bag of ice for the cooler.
The site includes a list of who has signed up for each day, including what type of meal they are preparing, as well as a link to send food via delivery, for those who are too far away to cook the meals themselves.
Help has also come from Kathleen Shea. DeFriest said she found hope after reading a RiverheadLOCAL article about Katheleen’s son Spencer Shea, who suffered a severe brain injury five years ago after a car accident. “Spencer traveled a similar path several years ago and to see his smile today give us something to reach for,” DeFriest said.
And now, Shea has reached out to help Benjamin’s family, designing T-shirts and hats at her Riverhead business, Peconic Bay Apparel.
Shea said she was moved by Benjamin’s story, so closely aligned to her own family’s journey.
“When my son was injured the community was so good to our family,” she said. “This was my way of paying it forward, doing my little part.”
Shea said she made some caps and T-shirts for the store, designed with an anchor and the words, “In Ben’s Corner: Only in the midst of a storm do we realize the strength of our anchor.”
The shirts are available in sizes Small to XXL; custom sizes can be ordered. To order shirts or hats call 631-727-0046, email kshea@peconicbayapparel.com, or go directly to the store, located at 31 McDermott Avenue in Riverhead. Shirts cost $20, with $15 going to help Benjamin; hats cost $15, with $10 going to help the family for extras.
Shea said after she posted photos of the shirts on Facebook, someone commented that the design was perfect for Benjamin, who serves in the Navy. Shea reached out to Susan Tyler, whose son was also injured in the accident. “That got the ball rolling,” Shea said. “Since then, I’ve reached out to Ben’s mom, who I did not know. She ‘knew’ me from my posts about Spencer.”
When her son was at Stony Brook, Shea said, there was a mother who’d come and speak to parents whose children had suffered traumatic brain injuries. “A few years earlier, her son had gotten in a car accident and survived.” Those words, Shea said, helped to buoy her family’s spirits. “She brought up her son to meet us. Meeting him gave us such hope for Spencer’s recovery. Again, we just want to pay it forward.”
Shea was heartened to hear that her posts about Spencer, in turn, had given DeFreist hope.
DeFriest, meanwhile, said she can’t wait to meet both Spencer and his mother at an upcoming fundraiser Shea is organizing.
Reflecting on the weeks since the accident, DeFriest said she’s found strength in the help she’s received from friends.
Before she reached out for help with meals, her son Zach, who also just started a new job and has football practice, had been living on fast food.
“People have been wonderful,” DeFriest said. Just last night, someone made chili, so Zach had a homemade dinner and she was able to enjoy the warm meal when she arrived home from the hospital; she’ll pack the rest for lunch at work tomorrow. Tonight’s dinner was steak and salad, she said.
“It makes a lot of difference, not having to do the huge grocery shopping and not having to worry about cooking. Everyone is absolutely amazing.”
Of Shea’s efforts, she added, “I just appreciate that she wants to help us out with the family expenses of having a child in the hospital. People are going out of their way, bending over backward, to help us out with the extras.”
A local band is even thinking of organizing a fundraiser at a winery, she said.
Members of the Kait’s Angels group have organized a fundraiser for Ben: Kait’s Angels will host a Community Yard Sale on Saturday, August 15 at the Doorhy home, located at 1125 Ole Jule Lane in Mattituck.
Ben’s father Tom Pileski’s friends, Ben’s friends, Zach’s friends, and so many others have brought meals, and cookies, support and love, DeFriest said. The woman who organized the meal deliveries called to ask if she could bring her a cup of coffee, she said.
“People look at me like I’m crazy for saying this, but I have a son with a traumatic brain injury, and yet, I am so blessed,” DeFriest said. “I’ve found that 99.9 percent of people are good, generous, and kind. People pray. Everyone goes above and beyond. I truly can’t get over it. I truly never thought I would be able to experience having a child in the hospital and still realize how lucky I am. I’m not lucky that my son is in the hospital, but I am lucky to be surrounded by so many prayers — and so much love for him.”
“I want to thank everyone for their love and support. It really has gone a long way,” Zach wrote.
“That’s what’s keeping me going,” his father Thomas Pileski has said.
The accident, which took place over July 4 weekend, happened during a time when Montauk was so flooded with massive crowds and cars that the East Hampton town board is now weighing restrictions.
