I often wonder about the strength inside of people. When forced into a corner, what makes some take a deep breath and fight, with everything they have? What makes others curl up and wimper, waiting for a miracle?
In particular, I wonder how parents of very ill children make it through each day. How do they get up and face the world? How do they look into the eyes of their baby (because they are always our babies), knowing they can’t fix it? What keeps them going, from doctors visit to hospital stay, to God knows what else?
I happen to know some of the most amazing parents, who must have Herculean strength stored inside. They get up and do this every day, and live it every minute. I could never ask them these questions. Not because I think they would be offended or upset. Nor because I think they couldn’t handle answering. I couldn’t ask because not only would there be as many answers as people, but also because they don’t have the luxury of wondering where they get the strength. They just dig deep, deeper then I hope I ever have to, and move forward.
I am thankful every single day — every single day — for the health of my children. We have had some concerns here and there; broken bones, food and medicine allergies, and other little hiccups that come with childhood. But for the most part, we have escaped most serious issues. They are strong, talented, smart and beautiful kids with great sense of self and terrific moral codes.
We do what we can to keep them safe and healthy. They eat well (most of the time) and brush their teeth twice a day. Sometimes, they even floss. They wear helmets when they bike, skate or skateboard. They remained in booster seats until the day of their eighth birthdays and now, every time we get in the car, seat belts are clicked and double checked.
We visit the dentist for cleanings every six months. We visit the physician for annual physicals and the naturopath for regular check-ups. We’ve discussed stranger danger, safe internet use, peer pressure, the dangers of drug use and even the birds and the bees, and all the issues of health surrounding that aspect of life.
But no matter what precautions we take, no matter how many talks we have, no matter how much we pray, beg and bargain, sometimes, life happens. They fall and get cuts (the mouth ones bleed so much, don’t they?). They jump off couches and break bones. They get sick and have incredibly high fevers that scare the bajesus out of us. They take chances no sane adult would even consider.
All of these adventures help them learn and contribute to who they become. I try to tell myself that, while I’m wiping away the tears and cleaning out the wounds. I try to remember that we were all kids once and that my mother did the same for me. But some scares are a little scarier then others.
A couple of years ago, my son suffered a severe concussion. Unfortunately, it was his second such injury and it was, without a doubt, the most terrified I have ever been. In fact, I didn’t know I could feel any emotion so deeply, so intensely. It was all consuming. I felt like I was drowning; drowning in my own ineptitude, in powerlessness and agony. I couldn’t fix him.
And for a minute, I understood. For a fleeting moment in time, I saw what life with an injured child might entail. I worried about taking care of him. I feared for his future. I cried. And cried some more.
There have been some lasting concerns. We still struggle with certain side effects of the damage that was done. We visit specialists. I research and look for answers. And I worry. But we keep going. We get up each day, get dressed, eat breakfast and brush our teeth, and we move forward. We have that luxury. We get to live our lives. Through it all, we are blessed.
Keeping them safe is a constant struggle. Since I can’t keep them in a bubble, or some other hamster-ball-type contraption, I exercise diligence. I repeat myself regularly, reminding them about the rules, begging them to be safe and aware, and harping on them to follow the rules, brush their teeth and get enough sleep. We even found a great recipe for a homemade toothpaste from http://www.wellnessmama.com.
Toothpaste
5 tablespoons Calcium powder or Calcium Magnesium Powder
2 tablespoons Baking Soda
3 tablespoons Xylitol Powder- This ingredient is not completely necessary, but just keeps it from tasting bitter.
3-5 tablespoons coconut oil to get desired texture
Optional ingredients: essential oils for flavor (mint, cinnamon, and orange are all good), Grapefruit Seed Extract, Myrrh and Trace Minerals
Directions
Mix all powdered ingredients (calcium, baking soda, xylitol) well in a bowl. If you are starting with calcium tablets, powder them in a food processor. If you are starting with capsules, dump them out into the bowl. Add coconut oil one tablespoons at a time until you get desired consistency. Add any optional ingredients, including essential oils for flavor. Store in a small container like 1/2 pint glass jar. To use, either dip clean toothbrush into it, or use spoon to put on toothbrush.
What’s your favorite way to worry about your family? Let me know at laurie@riverheadlocal.com.
