I love music. I do not have the words to fully express how much I adore the art form. More then any other media, music speaks to my soul and has the ability to both fill me with immense happiness and bring me to tears.
There are songs that define each stage of my life and significant moments that are permanently intertwined with particular tunes. Few of my waking hours are spent without some sort of music accompanying me. I enjoy many different types of music, but I am picky. And if I don’t like it, I don’t listen to it.
I think one of the best inventions ever is audio controls on the steering wheel of vehicles. Back in the dark ages, before this technology was available, I built significant arm muscles by keeping my hand firmly on the tuning dial for the duration of all car trips. I have driven more then one passenger crazy with the constant switching from station to station.
Though I feel very passionate about music, I have no musical ability of any kind. My singing voice has made my children cry. I have rarely even picked up an instrument, let alone learned how to actually play one. Neither of my parents are very musical and never pushed us to learn how to play.
This made me feel pretty strongly about pushing my children to take up a musical instrument. At a young age, I enrolled my son in group guitar class. I love the guitar and his teacher turned out to be an excellent mentor, instructor and friend. He still plays, albeit not as much as I would like. And I love listening to his natural tendency towards a bluegrassy kind of rock.
When my daughter was old enough, I put her in that same group class. Even though we had several guitars in the house, I bought her her own and sent her along, thinking she’d follow a similar path to her brother. I don’t know why I would have thought that. They are very different children and it quickly became apparent that guitar was just not her thing.
I took it well, knowing she had plenty of time to find her instrument. She spends so much time in ballet class, that her exposure to classical music is extensive. I figured that exposure would help her discover the instrument that would speak to her; piano, flute, even drums seemed a good choice.
And like any normal parent, I prayed that she would not take up violin.
So of course, we are the proud renters of one of the smallest violins known to man. That little wooden package is like a harbinger of misery and sadness. I see the case open and immediately the horror of what is to come fills me with dread. It must be some kind of magical evil that allows something so tiny to be so loud and awful. It sounds like someone is killing a seal inside my head.
I never encourage her to practice. I never complain when she forgets it at school. I’ve told her to practice in her room, with the door shut, so I could turn up my music and drown it out. Obviously, I’m not winning the mother of the year award. I’ve come to terms with that and will gladly take the my-mom-sucks award if someone will just make it stop.
I know many parents have also suffered through this, and the good ones build their children up, speak positive words to them and praise the determination it takes to become a good musician. The way I look at it, she’s really good at lots of other things. Why pressure her to be good at yet one more? That’s asking a lot of a young child. I don’t want to be one of those parents who forces things on my child. It might be better for her to just let this one go. Next year, I’m thinking she might want to try chorus.
When she does tell me that she’s going to practice, I try to suppress the panic, paste on the most sincere smile I can muster and scramble to find ear plugs. Though alcohol, or prescription pain meds, might ease the suffering of violin practice, remember, this is a natural living blog. I try not to push drug use.
So that she doesn’t suspect that I’m plugging my ears to avoid hearing the awful noises emitting from the instrument in her adorable little hands, I’ve come to love and appreciate headphones. I’m particularly enamored of the popularity of the large headphones. Earbuds just don’t provide enough protection. If you can’t find headphones and your rental agreement frowns upon pulling a Pete Townshend and bashing it to bits, there are some natural options for easing the tension caused by trying to pull yourself into the fetal position.
Exercise is particularly effective for easing tension. Running is really great, especially if it involves running away from the screeching noises escaping from the instrument. If this is not an option for you, try yoga. I like humming whilst performing downward dog because the combination of white noise and the blood rushing to my head make it more difficult to hear. Whether you find your zen or not, at least you’ll feel good.
Of course, the first thing I can think of to induce relaxation is a good rubdown. Shoulders, feet and even hand massages help to melt away stress and loosen up those tight muscles. You can even ask your budding musician for a little help here. Not only will they be contributing to your well-being, it will also take them away from practice, a win-win.
A good all-around stress reliever is a piping hot cup of tea. Almost any decaffeinated flavor will suffice, but you’ll get better results with a chamomile base (and some whiskey.) Lemon balm, passionflower, lavender and valerian are also great options. There are many combination teas out there specifically geared towards stress relief. Celestial Seasonings makes Tension Tamer, Yogi offers up Kava Stress Relief and NOW Foods has Kick Back Tea.
Letting go of stress can be a lot easier if you just purge it. Painting, dancing and writing are excellent outlets for your pent up frustrations. You can keep a journal or diary, or write a blog that your kids don’t know about and will one day use as the base of all therapy sessions. They’re all effective choices.
If all else fails, get a dog. Seriously. A cat works too, if you prefer that sort of thing. According to the Centers for Disease Control (http://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/health_benefits.htm), “Pets can decrease your: blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglyceride levels, feelings of loneliness. Pets can increase your: opportunities for exercise and outdoor activities, Opportunities for socialization.”
To keep your pet happy- because they may also object to the horror of violin practice — make them treats. Love of my dogs has this great recipe for turkey jerky.
Turkey Jerky
½ lb. lean ground turkey
1 egg
½ cup oats
½ cup carrots, shredded
½ cup fresh parsley, chopped or 1 tablespoon dry parsley
Preheat oven to 200 degrees. Mix all ingredients together in large bowl. Add mixture to food processor and blend thoroughly. Spread mixture about 1/4 in. thick onto cookie sheet lined with tin foil or parchment paper. Bake for 1 hour. Remove from oven and cut jerky into strips 1 in. wide by 3-5 in. long (the length depends on your dog’s size and will slightly alter the cooking time). Place strips onto larger cookie sheet lined with tin foil or parchment paper, spaced 1/2 in. apart and return to oven for 1 hour. Remove from oven and use a spatula to unstick any jerky. Return to oven for 1 hour or until hardened and very dry. Let cool before serving. Store in refrigerator or airtight container; if stored in freezer, jerky will last 2-3 weeks.
How do you get through 20 minutes of instrument practice per day? If you care, you’ll share your tips with me at laurie@riverheadlocal.com.
