I woke the other morning with this verse from the Book of Sirach 2:10 running through my head:
‘Consider the generations long past and see:
Has anyone trusted in the Lord and been disappointed?’
You might be surprised by my answer. “Yup”, I said to the Lord. “I have trusted in you all my life and yes, I have been disappointed.”
This conversation with God occurred in the wee hours of morning. It was a pretty deep one to have before my morning coffee. But God knows me. He knows that the best time to get my attention is in the early morning, before emails, Facebook and the details of life come rushing in to compete with God’s personal word to me.
I continued, “You asked me this question, Lord; ‘Has anyone hoped in the Lord and been disappointed?’ My answer is still the same; Yes, I have.”
Then I gave God my latest laundry list of disappointments. I told Him that I was disappointed that life is so tough some times. I told him that when we started out on this adventure of marriage and family that I thought life would be a little slower in our fifties, that thoughts of retirement would replace endless working just to make ends meet. Instead, we are working harder than ever and retirement is nowhere on our horizon. That’s disappointing, especially since I placed my trust in God.
Probably the biggest disappointment that was heavy on my heart that morning, and maybe it’s the one kernel the Lord was trying to get me to hand over to Him, was that my daughter Johanna was struggling again, even since her last surgery. She had about two weeks of better focus and less pain. I was hoping – in the Lord, I suppose – that she would have months of focus with less pain. But over the past week, her headaches got worse. That was disappointing.
When God speaks, there are volumes written beneath the surface of His words. There is always more to them. When I woke with that verse in my mind, God knew that it was like giving me one line of a song. It would make me sing the rest. We always joke about Johanna and how, for her, everything is a song cue. Words and conversation remind her of a song. And when they do, she has to sing the whole song. I know that about Johanna and the Lord knows that about me. So He often gives me the one verse, so as to get me to focus on the whole scripture.
But like a stubborn child, I continued my litany of disappointments until I was bored and discouraged. Then I decided to read the whole chapter of Sirach 2. I know it very well. My husband and I read it together before we were married and God spoke to us very powerfully through this scripture. Steve even typed it and framed it to hang on our wall to remind us that life wouldn’t be easy, but God’s love never disappoints. Here are more of the verses to give you this context about God and disappointments.
Trust in God
My child, when you come to serve the Lord,
Prepare yourself for trials
Be sincere of heart and steadfast,
And do not be impetuous in time of adversity.
Cling to him, do not leave him,
That you may prosper in your last days.
Accept whatever happens to you;
In periods of humiliation be patient.
For in fire gold is tested,
And the chosen, in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust in God, and he will help you;
Make your ways straight and hope in him.
You that fear the Lord, wait for his mercy,
Do not stray lest you fall.
You that fear the Lord, trust in him,
And your reward will not be lost.
You that fear the LORD, hope for good things,
For lasting joy and mercy.
Consider the generations long past and see:
Has anyone trusted in the Lord and been disappointed?
Has anyone persevered and been forsaken?
Has anyone called upon him and been ignored?
For the Lord is compassionate and merciful;
Forgives sins and saves in time of trouble…
Let us fall into the hands of the Lord
And not into the hands of mortals,
For equal to his majesty is his mercy. (Sirach 2:1-6, 8-11, 18)
The verse that the Lord whispered in my ear was very much like one of Johanna’s song cues. I get it. It is really fine for me to be honest with the Lord and answer the question, “Has anyone trusted in the Lord and been disappointed?” My answer is still “yes.” But like words taken out of context, I am limiting God if I don’t consider the big picture. Even in that one verse, the Spirit encourages us to “consider the generations and see.” That’s a big picture. Trusting God can sometimes seem like an impossible task when we get caught up in the day-to-day disappointments of life. Much like singing one verse of a song or just the harmony part, I can miss the melody of the whole song.
When I read the whole chapter of Sirach 2, I am reminded that trusting in the Lord requires an intimate relationship with God. Trust requires that we “cling to him” (3) and “fall into the hands of the Lord” (18). Those are some pretty intimate images more reminiscent of a love song than of wise scriptural advice. The entire chapter also never promises that trusting God doesn’t lead to disappointing and difficulties, quite to the contrary. Sirach 2 cautions those who trust in the Lord to “be prepared for trials” (1), that is much like a “refining fire” (5). This same passage also promises that those who persevere shall not be forsaken. My absolute favorite verse of this entire chapter, the crescendo of this beautiful melody, is the last verse:
“For equal to His majesty is His mercy.”
Now that’s a nice ending. When I think of the majesty of God, I think of comets and northern lights darting and dancing across the dark skies. I think of the sunrises and sunsets and sweeping ocean waves. If God’s mercy is at least equal to His majesty displayed in nature, then I can trust that in the end, I won’t be disappointed. God’s mercy cannot be outdone by the difficulties of this life. When I consider the generations past, and this one verse in the context of Sirach 2 and the Lord’s mercy, I know that, ultimately, in the end, I shall not be disappointed. I just have to remember to trust and to sing the rest of the song.
Eileen Benthal is a writer, speaker and wellness coach with a B.A. in Theology from Franciscan University. She and her husband Steve live in Jamesport and have four young adult children. Their youngest, Johanna, is a teenager with special needs. Eileen can be reached at FreeIndeedFreelance.com.
