Watching the little children who gathered at Cutchogue East Elementary School on Friday for the dedication of a “buddy bench” in her honor, the sight was one that surely would have made Kaitlyn Doorhy smile.
In the months after Kaitlyn’s tragic death, her memory lives on, and her legacy of love continues to touch the North Fork community. Kaitlyn, 20, died in August from injuries sustained after being hit by a car near her college, Sacred Heart University, in Bridgeport, Connecticut.
They came on Friday, braving the cold winds, carrying bursts of sunshine in the sunflowers she loved, with bright pink T-shirts and roses, with posters and heart-stirring music — and with even the youngest community members pledging to carry on, with Kaitlyn as their role model.
The Mattituck Cutchogue PTA dedicated “Kaitlyn’s Buddy Bench” in her memory to the children of Cutchogue East Elementary School. The ceremony took place on Friday at the playground.
Her voice breaking with tears, Cutchogue East Elementary School Principal Kathleen Devine began the ceremony by saying it was an “honor” to remember Kaitlyn in a place where she left a lifetime legacy.
Cub Scouts from Pack #39 carried the colors and led the group gathered in the Pledge of Allegiance.
Lisa Fox, PTA president, said that when Kaitlyn died on August 22, hearts were broken across the school district, with the PTA knowing they wanted to do something special to remember her.
Reflecting back on when Kaitlyn began kindergarten in 1999, she said the district not only gained a “smart and beautiful girl” but a “family” who dedicates them selflessly to the district. Kaitlyn’s mother Darla Doorhy was a past PTA president and is still active in the Friends of Music Program. Kaitlyn’s father Joe Doorhy, she said, is dedicated to the Mattituck Athletic Booster Club, and Kaitlyn’s sister Carly is involved with sports and school activities, too.
Fox noted that the community came together, Girl Scouts and Cub Scouts, with music and memories, to celebrate a young woman who was loved beyond measure. She said that while they could not take away the pain her family is feeling, they stand strong in support — and the bench, she said, is a tangible reminder of that solidarity. “Come here to reflect, and remember,” Fox said. “Sit down and feel the love.”
Kaitlyn’s friend Molly Waitz also spoke in a moving tribute, detailing all of Kaitlyn’s accomplishments — and her incredible work ethic, including three jobs at A Lure, A Mano, and Michael Kors. At Mattituck High School, her list of achievements was long: Not only did she graduate with honors, but Kaitlyn was an alter server at Sacred Heart, a member of the NJROTC, a Girl Scout who received the highest honors, National Honor Society, varsity soccer, and first place in DECA. Not only did she play the sax, alto sax, flute and piano, but she played her instrument at the Vatican in Italy. She was a member of the jazz and concert band, and participated in the Heritage Festival and Music in the Parks.
In her sorority, she was a rising star, she was a whiz at computers, volunteered at Maureen’s Haven, a local blood drive, participated in Relay for Life, a 5K run for the Mattituck High School booster club, and received the highest scores at the NYSSMA music festival. She was an enthusiastic cheerleader, soccer player, artist, vocalist, and spent years in dance. And she participated in the National Youth Leadership Conference in Washington, DC in 2009. She’d also wanted to give back by building homes for the poor in Honduras. Her long string of academic and extra-curricular accomplishments won her a sea of scholarships and awards at her graduation from MHHS.
Kaitlyn was just about to begin her junior year at Sacred Heart University, and was headed to an orientation event with her Kappa Delta Sorority sisters when tragedy struck.
Studying to be a divorce attorney, Kaitlyn wanted to attend Columbia Law School, and had just gotten an internship in her field.
Most of all, Waitz said, Kaitlyn believed in helping others, always reaching out a hand to a friend. And even in her last moments, Kaitlyn was selfless, she said; her organs were donated to help others in need.
“She was a giver, and nothing could stop her,” Waitz said. She told the children present to follow Kaitlyn’s lead, always be a friend, and always reach for the stars. She then repeated Kaitlyn’s favorite expression, which adorns the bright pink T-shirts worn in her honor. “Keep smiling, beautiful.”
Jenn and Sage Foster of Girl Scout Troop 1971 presented a poster and said they are “Buddy Bench ambassadors”, aiming to make all children feel welcome.
Nate Demchak, chair of the Cutchogue East Student Leadership Committee, said he and other students would see the bench and “follow her example”
According to the Christian’s Buddy Bench website, “The buddy bench is a simple idea to eliminate loneliness and foster friendship on the playground. Let’s spread the message of inclusion and kindness.”
Christian Bucks, a second grader in York, Pennsylvania thought it would be a good idea for his school, Roundtown Elementary, according to the website, to create a bench where friendships could be fostered and loneliness countered. “He knew that there were some kids who felt lonely at recess and he thought this would put an end to that,” the site states.
The concept has spread and sparked a flurry of media attention, spreading an anti-bullying message and instead, encouraging children to show kindness to kids who might be feeling excluded.
“The PTA is honoring Kaitlyn Doorhy and her family for all that they have done for the Mattituck-Cutchogue School District and the community,” an announcement of the event on Facebook read. “The students of Cutchogue East will be encouraged to use Kaitlyn’s Buddy Bench to foster friendships on the playground. The PTA is honored to dedicate this in Kaitlyn’s name.”
At the ceremony, Fox said Christian Bucks had heard about Kaitlyn and hopes to feature the new Buddy Bench, and her story, on the organization’s website.
The crowd listened, some weeping quietly, as a Celtic melody by Phil Coulter was performed by Deborah Guryn and Robert Ozman.
Last month, a sea of those who loved the former Mattituck Strawberry Queen flocked to Sacred Heart, where a football game was played in her honor during the school’s Family Weekend.
Wearing pink T-shirts adorned with her name and the words “Forever In Our Hearts,” about 90 friends and family members, as well as members of the Mattituck Lions Club, traveled to watch the game.
Kaitlyn was also honored by her four roommates, who planted a tree in her memory outside the Chapel of the Holy Spirit on the SHU campus. The tree was dedicated during Family Weekend and a plaque was placed nearby before a crowd of Doorhy’s visiting friends and family members.
According to Timothy Bialeski, president of the Mattituck Lions Club, Kaitlyn’s friends were “brought together to celebrate her life. We are inspired by her presence. Even though she is not physically here, we embrace her.”
Kaitlyn’s father Joe opened bottles of champagne, to toast his beautiful girl.
Sacred Heart University also announced that the H.W. Wilson Foundation has given $100,000 to Sacred Heart University to establish an endowed scholarship in memory of Kaitlyn, who died just before beginning her junior year after being hit by a motor vehicle while walking to campus.
The scholarship will be given each year to a junior student from Long Island with financial need; it is anticipated that the first award will be given for the 2015-2016 academic year.
As Friday’s ceremony concluded, pink balloons floated in the autumn wind as Darla, Joe and Carly Doorhy cut the ribbon on the bench where Kaitlyn will be remembered forever.
