Two years ago today, Laurel teen Bekah Conner, 17, faced the unthinkable: The loss of her beloved mother Deborah.
And tonight, Bekah, who shares her passion for music and playing the guitar, will perform a heartfelt set of songs in honor of the mother she misses so terribly.
Bekah will be performing at CJ’s American Grill, on Main Road in the Mattituck shopping plaza, where she sings on Thursdays from 7 p.m. until 8:30 p.m.
“Today is going to be super hard singing,” Bekah said. “Even though singing helps a lot it’s still hard but I’m going to be singing her favorites today — some Adele and Lady Gaga. I’m gonna sing my heart out for her because she wouldn’t want today to be a sad day for her kids.”
Bekah, her dad and her siblings knew her mother would want them to smile, not cry, despite their aching loss. “She would want us to make some fun out of it. Just like after her burial we went to Dave & Buster’s as a family — now we are doing this as a family.”
The road to the stage has not been easy for Bekah. When she was only 18 months old, Bekah’s leg was nearly severed in a devastating lawn mower accident.
The years since and the scars on her leg are a testament to the teen’s internal fortitude, unshakable faith — and the love of a family so strong that it transcends the unthinkable.
Bekah, who suffered a severed Achilles tendon, has had to undergo a long and excruciatingly painful series of surgeries and procedures — over 95 in all — to lengthen her tendons and help to heal her extensive injuries. Because her scar tissue is so deep, those surgeries have required weeks in the hospital, plastic surgery and rehabilitation. At times, she’s had to live for a month with her legs pinned, to help the blood flow. She’s endured such pain that she lost over 20 lbs. and also, experienced excruciating muscle spasms.
As a tiny child, Bekah learned early on how to put herself to sleep before the most painful of procedures. “That, to me, was God intervening,” her father, Larry Conner said.
Today, Bekah’s optimism and enthusiasm is engaging; she’s a ray of sunshine, dressed in a pretty flowered blouse and delicate jewelry, moving gracefully and talking about music and videos like any teen who hasn’t suffered a lifetime of pain.
Her eyes fill up, though, when Bekah talks about October, 2013, the month she faced a loss so great the family is still reeling: Bekah’s mom, Deborah, died suddenly of heart-related issues. Her presence lingers in the home she decorated so lovingly — her detailed calendar, listing every activity in the lives of her husband and six kids, still hangs on the refrigerator. Her photograph is placed front and center on the mantel. Candles and silk flowers, figurines and a framed Thomas Kinkade print speak to a woman who loved her home and the family she created.
And they love her still: Her name is shared in so many stories, references. Her laughter rings joyfully from a video Bekah created and displayed on YouTube after she passed away, a video that features loving messages filmed by the many, many who adored her.
Bekah still treasures a guitar from her mother, which arrived in the mail the day after her mom died.
Home has always been their refuge, a place where Bekah and her family, including siblings Larry Jr., Joshua, Rachel, Aaron and Sarah say “I love you” and kiss each other good-bye every time they leave the house.
Memories in that house abound. Memories of Christmas Eves, when the family opens their gifts one at a time. Memories instilled by their mother, traditions that remain exactly the same, even though she is gone. They set a place for her at Thanksgiving and when Rachel got married, there was a tribute to Deborah at the wedding, with a purple candle, her favorite color. On her birthday they baked a cake and released balloons into the sky. Family means everything, Bekah said. “My mom always told us that we only have each other. Together, we’re strong. My family’s my rock.”
And that family has grown, with Bekah’s nephew Noah, a baby whose name means “new beginning.”
Faith has kept Bekah strong. It’s that faith that’s helped her survive not only the accident but her mother’s death. “She’s in heaven now. This is your temporary home, then you go to paradise,” Bekah said. And there are signs — a moment when Bekah felt her mother strongly during her last hospitalization, and the pennies she finds — when she knows her mother is still by her side.
As for the future, Bekah would like to be a doctor, and also, to pursue her passion for music, singing and playing the guitar. Music therapy would combine both passions, she said.
To other young people facing seemingly unsurmountable challenges, Bekah has words of wisdom: “You have to believe in God and he’ll help you. That’s what I did.”
