When I opened the window shades one morning, I surprised even myself when I said out loud, “It’s a beautiful day.” I chuckled and thought maybe doubling my intake of vitamin D is really helping. I try to remember take it year-round because vitamin D deficiency is a big problem, and possible one of the major causes of autoimmune disease.
I took a second look out at the cloudy gray day. The clouds were dark and ominous and the winds were blowing on the open fields across from our house. Everything looked wet, squishy, gray and beautiful.
At the risk of sounding like I have too much time on my hands, I stared out that window to try and figure out the appeal of this dark autumn day. I realized that my eyes were drawn to the contrast of the gold and red leaves against the dark sky. The bleak appearance of the sky actually made the autumn colors richer and deeper. It was stunning.
A few hours later, I read a passionate Facebook post from one of my friends, a fellow certified life coach. I’ve never met her, but I know her life well, as she has been documenting her journey through a devastating diagnosis of Stage 4 colon cancer. She is a single mom of a beautiful little boy who is not yet a teenager but has faced a life that few adults could handle as well as this young man.
Far from being a depressed person, my Facebook friend exhibits a cheerful disposition as she exhorts others to care for their health and stay abreast of colon cancer screening. The other day, my friend posted a difficult update. The cancer has spread and the doctors are giving her less than a year to live, even with more treatment. While she acknowledges how hard this time is for her and her family to endure, she is committed to fight the good fight and win. In the same post, she thanks all of us who have witnessed and been encouraged by her story.
As I read this, I wished that I could reach out across the miles and hug this courageous woman of faith. Just then, the words of a priest/friend came to mind. I’d heard him speak these words at many funerals over the years. He said, “Christ didn’t come to add days to our lives. But rather, he came to add life to our days.”
I reflected on these words in light of my friend’s devastating news. There were many posts from friends around the country encouraging her that she would conquer this new mountain as she had the ones before. But I couldn’t stop thinking that how, from a medical perspective, it appeared that cancer was winning. Yet she was still inspiring countless others from all over the world, thanks to her determination and the reach of social media.
I wanted to jump on the “you got this” wagon and believe that she would defy all the odds to spend more time with her son. But those words “add life to our days” echoed in my mind as pondered what I could say to encourage this brave warrior. As I wrote, the words poured out like a waterfall. I told her that she had already conquered the real enemy behind the cancer: fear.
Fear of present and future pain can paralyze the strongest among us. But those who choose courage, as this mama has, will find themselves living a meaningful life in the midst of the life-shattering situations like terminal cancer. Truly, this mom has added life to her days, her son’s days, and to her family and friends across the world, as she presents a positive view which inspires all.
This week we will celebrate Thanksgiving, a day dedicated to gratitude for abundance. But the irony is that around many of our dinner tables, there will be family and friends whose lives are stricken by a lack of abundance in health, finances, and friendship.
For some, like my Facebook friend, it could be the last holidays spent together. The holidays can be difficult when you are going through trials. We’ve spent many weird holidays over the years, in the hospital surrounded by IV poles and monitors, times when looming job losses and threats of foreclosures all cast a bleak shadow over the call to gratitude. Those times were hard and although life is a little easier now, I know the stability of today could be gone tomorrow.
For me, finding abundance in the midst of lack is as easy as being thankful for the gifts in your midst. It’s easier to find the silver lining on a cloud than to cry about the rain. This scripture best summarizes my attitude towards choosing to be thankful and content whatever the circumstance:
“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4: 11-13.
Seeing life through the inspiration of the Spirit changes my perspective, so that when I open the shades on the gray day, I can focus more on the colors of the trees than on the clouds. The contrast of light and darkness can actually highlight the beauty of a gloomy day.
So whether this Thanksgiving is a time of good news, good friends and good food, or a time of sadness and longing, realize that beauty and gratitude is in the eyes, mind and heart of the beholder. Choose to see abundance in those feeble circumstances and allow gratitude to add life to your days
Eileen Benthal is a writer, speaker and wellness coach with a B.A. in Theology from Franciscan University. She is the author of Breathing Underwater: A Caregiver’s Journey of Hope.
Eileen and her husband Steve live in Jamesport and have four young adult children. Their youngest, Johanna, is a teenager with special needs.
Eileen can be reached at CareforaCaregiver.com.
