I have been observing, with amazement and frustration, as intelligent, moral and thoughtful individuals rally around a presidential candidate who is, to me, the quintessential expression of the word arrogance.
However discouraging, I find this election cycle, it has made for a lot of very interesting discussions that have challenged my views and caused me to re-evaluate my involvement in the political process. One thing is for sure my vote counts, if not to the election, at least to me.
I believe that God can use everything in our lives for good. I also believe that God speaks to us all the time, if we are willing to listen. So even the trapesties and chaos of this presidential election has provided me with some food for thought and reflection in my own heart.
As a result, the Lord has used the glaring displays of pride and arrogance, to refine my understanding of and attraction to, the virtue of humility.
Humility can be defined as the state of being humble, of not esteeming one’s abilities as greater than another. The virtue of humility carries a little more weight for the soul.
Rather than just an exercise of self-control, the virtue of humility requires some sort of belief in God. I’m not certain an atheist can be a humble person. Humility requires a belief in someone or some kind of higher power. It’s not that all people who display humility believe in God, but that they believe in something beyond themselves.
Most of us mistakenly equate humility with a lack of self-esteem and a passivity that does not bode well for those in leadership positions. As a result, we often give leaders permission to demean us and we allow or participate in practices that put others down.
We’ve all done it, in our personal lives, in our churches, at work and in our communities. We step aside, out of some misguided understanding of what it means to be humble and let arrogant and manipulative people lead us and the groups that impact our lives.
All of us at some time in our lives, repeat the mistake of yielding our permission to the will of the arrogant. Sometimes it’s because of our own passivity and lack of self-confidence. However, I believe that most of the time, we yield control because we lack a clear understanding of humility and pride.
The best definition that I have ever read of humility is from a wise, cloistered nun who lived in the 16th century, St. Theresa of Avila. St. Theresa defined humility as living in the truth; “andar en la verdad”- “walk in truth”. If I ever get a tattoo (don’t hold your breath, kids), this quote is top on my list.
A truly humble person knows who they are and makes decisions based in truth. Think of humble people whom you admire. They are often kind, but self-assured. They know who they are and the gifts they possess. They offer those gifts to others, not so they can be esteemed, but rather so people can be served.
In contrast, a person who is characterized by arrogance which is founded in pride, also knows the gifts and talents they possess. But the arrogant person uses those gifts to manipulate and control others. When we yield our control to these people, we get hurt.
While this election process has provided the nation with ample displays of humility, passivity, pride and arrogance, it has given me more food for my Lenten meditation on humility.
I am a gifted leader who recognizes that everything I possess I have received from God. I try to use these gifts for the service of others, first in my own family, then in the church and the world.
In the past year, my use of my gifts was misunderstood by some groups where I serve in leadership positions. Through a series of communications, I was subtly, and not so subtly, accused of being controlling and prideful. The intentions of my actions were seriously misunderstood.
I knew I was probably being gossiped about under the guise of Christian discipline. Attempts that I made to remedy the situation were largely ignored. I felt deeply hurt and offended. I was prone to crying, sick over the situation, dreading phone calls, emails and contacts with these groups. My reputation was being defamed and it greatly disturbed me.
I took the situation to prayer, hoping that God would plead my cause and appease my soul by affirming me for being right. Instead, the Holy Spirit inspired me to look beyond the offense and the offenders to examine why I was so disturbed by the offenses.
As a merciful Father, God took my soul for a walk in prayer, gently showing me His love and wisely showing me that the only person I could control was me.
Confident of God’s love for me and grateful for the many gifts I have been given, I began to examine my responses and realized that my over sensitivity itself was really rooted in pride.
The only remedy to pride, and the key to all forgiveness, is humility. Again, humility is not passivity. So, while I did have to take actions to defend myself against the attacks that were knowingly and unknowingly launched against me, humility allows me to let go of the outcome.
Coincidentally or providentially, this insight into my own struggles with pride, coincided with the beginning of Lent. So I added a tool to my treasure chest of Lenten meditations. It’s called the “Litany of Humility.”
In my daily recitation of this litany, and reflections, I have come to understand that my reactions to another’s offense against me is either motivated by humility or pride. Pride tells me to fight back with the intent of punishing another for my own satisfaction, which ironically, will never be satisfied. But rather than punishing the offender, I am binding myself by thoughts of anger and hurt. The offender rarely suffers, but I sure do.
In contrast, humility is truly as St. Theresa defined, walking in truth. In humility, I can see the truth in any offense and offender, even if they were motivated by a lie. Humility allows me to defend that which needs to be protected and leave the results to God.
I am not deceived enough to think that I will embrace and embody the virtue of humility by Easter Sunday. Rather, this walk in truth, with ample examples in my own life and society at large, teaches me that humility is not attained by striving, but rather by letting go, one day at a time, with the grace that God provides.
In my study on humility, I came upon this quote by Benjamin Franklin:
“There is perhaps no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive. Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility”.
Jesus said it this way:
“The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” Matthew 23:11-12.
While I’m not sure I can pass on these lessons in humility to any of the remaining presidential candidates, I am certain this underrated virtue is affecting a change in my own life.
Maybe I can find a way to pass on the “Litany of Humility”, along with a few quotes from a Founding Father. But then I’d be so proud, I’d find myself back to the beginning.
Eileen Benthal is a writer, speaker and wellness coach with a B.A. in Theology from Franciscan University. She is the author of Breathing Underwater: A Caregiver’s Journey of Hope.
Eileen and her husband Steve live in Jamesport and have four young adult children. Their youngest, Johanna, is a teenager with special needs.
Eileen can be reached at CareforaCaregiver.com.
