I almost didn’t write this blog. There is a huge part of me that did not even want to think about the issue, let alone put it in words. But here I am, writing a blog about women’s body sizes. Why? Because we’re still getting it wrong.
There’s been a couple of media highlights in the last few months that have, once again, brought this issue to the forefront. Not that it ever really went away, but for like a day or two, conversations about someone else’s body 
weren’t the only thing in my social media feeds.
First, there was the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit issue. For the first time ever, the cover model was a plus-sized woman. I had several different feelings about this.
Initially, I noted that the size 12 model, was not, in fact, THE cover model, but one of three cover models— the first time Sports Illustrated has ever done this. It was sort of like, “Well, we put her on one of our covers, so stop complaining. And, just in case her body upsets you, please see cover A.” The third cover was of UFC fighter Ronda Rousey. Ironically, she’s the only actual athlete in the SPORTS Illustrated magazine, but why get picky about the little things?
So let’s put that little detail aside for a moment. Let’s instead focus on the fact that for the first time in the long and storied history of Sports Illustrated, they were allowing us to objectify and devalue a woman that was over a size eight. I mean, talk about progress.
In case you haven’t had the pleasure of viewing this particular annual magazine, it is essentially soft porn. Which, incidentally, is not really an issue for me. But let’s be honest and call it what it is. Because no one is picking up the swim suit issue to shop for their mother, wife or daughter’s new bathing suit. No one.
But, I tried to stay positive and took note of all the people who shared the cover and made uplifting, affirming comments about this woman. And then I read the other comments. Forget, for one minute, that I expected fat shaming (though this model is not fat), and was not disappointed. Because I was too busy being overwhelmed by people who were trying to be nice (I think) and instead made all sorts of terrible comments about thin models.
Because calling a woman a skinny b*tch or somehow insinuating that she is either unhealthy and/or inherently evil for being small is totally better than making fun of the big girl. I mean, it’s not like women who are thin also have hopes, dreams and insecurities. They’re just handed the world on a silver platter because they can fit in Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts. Seriously people, WTF?
Next, we have this week’s “women’s-bodies-are-our-business” topic, brought to light by comedian Amy Schumer. Let me give you the set up. Glamour magazine did a “special edition” of their fashion mag, featuring plus-size women. On the cover was the wording “Women who inspire us: Melissa McCarthy, Adele, Amy Schumer,” or something like that.
I’ll translate this for you. “We made a special magazine just for you bigger girls, because we certainly can’t include you in our normal editions. And these particular bigger girls are truly amazing because they manage to make it through each day, while being larger than some. Not only haven’t they tried to starve and/or kill themselves because of their size (as far as we know), but they actually succeed at stuff! Can you even imagine? They sure are something special!”
Understandably, Ms. Schumer was upset. Some think it was maybe for the wrong reasons. Amy did not complain about the obvious segregation of women who are deemed “plus-sized” by the fashion world. Amy complained that she, a woman who wears a size 6 or 8, was included in the list of plus-sized women. She said something along the lines of, “young girls who see me, a size 8, will start to think that that’s plus-sized and develop an unrealistic view of women.”
My dear Amy, let’s be honest for a minute. No young girl should be watching anything you do. Though you are a very funny women, your topics are completely inappropriate for anyone under the age of 23. And even then, it’s questionable.
But I do understand what she was trying to say, in a roundabout way. Ms. Schumer is disappointed in a society that is so poisoned by a-typical (or photoshopped) bodies, that a very healthy and “average” woman is considered “plus-sized.” That’s fair. I just think she missed an opportunity to address a larger issue where assigning sizes to women also assigns a value judgement, which is just asinine.
However, being a woman who has spent my life struggling with weight and eating disorders, I know that I also would have been upset to be included in a plus-sized issue of anything, even though (or especially because) I’m plus-sized. So I’m cutting her some slack.
At the end of the day, I’m just sick of all of it. I’m sick of how women’s bodies are fair game for pretty much anything: judgment, condemnation, degradation, objectification, and even legislation. I’m sick of the fact that someone, somewhere made a chart and it says that I am overweight. And that no matter what I tell my daughter, no matter how often I exercise, no matter how healthful we eat, no matter how strong I am or how much confidence I project, the world will scream at her that I am of less value and not as beautiful as the women in the magazines, the ads, the billboards.
I’m certainly no model and would never claim to be. But I am a good woman. I’m a loving mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and even wife (most of the time). I work hard. I love fiercely. I try to treat others as I would like to be treated and to leave the world a little better than how I found it. And sometimes (often) I screw up. Then, I apologize and/or fix it and try to move on.
That’s what I want my kids to see.
In the end, I just want them to be good people who find happiness. I don’t want them to wonder what size my pants are (this week) or if I had a cupcake at their birthday party. I want them to assign value to who a person is, how they behave, what’s in their heart— not what size they are. Because last time I checked, that’s not a qualification for any of the important things.
I did not find my best friends by viewing profile images on Facebook or by searching for she who looked the best in her yoga pants at the gym. For the love of God, if she’s at the gym, and dressed, she’s already got more motivation than I require of anyone.
I have a hard time making it to the gym because I can’t stand trying to find workout clothes that are not my pajamas. So I don’t bother. I stay home and work out in my pjs. I highly recommend it. Though I do suggest brushing your teeth first. Bad breath is not a good look for anyone. Make your own toothpaste with tips from askthedentist.com. He even suggests using chocolate in your recipe, so he’s clearly a genius. (Seriously though, there’s science behind it.) Then go out in the world and be your fabulous, chocolatey self!
Laurie Nigro, a mother of two, is passionate about her family, her community, and natural living. Laurie resides in downtown Riverhead and is co-founder of the River and Roots Community Garden on West Main Street.
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