Respect and civility were on the Southold Town Board’s agenda this morning — not that anyone in the room required lessons in good behavior, even in a local election year. Southold Anti-Bias Task Force co-chairperson Sonia Spar gave the town board an update on the group’s activities during their work session at Southold Town Hall and spoke of the group’s respect and civility campaign. The point is to promote respect in public discussion and encourage people to treat each other with respect — and civility — even in the face of disagreement.
The group has picked a blue ribbon as a visible symbol for the campaign, Spar said. “We’re working on using it constantly, at every event sponsored by the task force, on the town UYV channel,” she said. The ABTF had stickers made for people to use on the windows of their vehicles, homes and businesses.
“We have to go back to the time when we can disagree, discuss and still be friends— or at least have the conversation in a respectful way, without name-calling,” Spar said.
The task force approached the president of the Greenport Business Improvement District to ask if local businesses would display the sticker, Spar said. “We know who we are and what we’re about, but visitors might not,” she explained today. There was an incident involving customers at a Greenport business, she noted.
Spar said the task force request stirred some controversy because some business owners were concerned they might be boycotted if they did not display the sticker.
“We don’t want to create controversy,” Spar said. “There is no intention to boycott any business. Respect and civility is for everyone. It has nothing to do with political affiliation, or your religion or what you look like. We are human beings and we need to be respectful to one another.”
Spar said “respect and civility needs to be vanilla. It needs not to be charged. That’s our goal — because people cannot see respect as something charged.”
“But understand: you’re using those words because it’s not vanilla,” Councilman Jim Dinizio said. “There are people who interpret that different. It’s not that you’re making it that. I understand that part of it. But understand when a person has a business the last thing they want to be is not vanilla. They don’t want to be pistachio. They don’t want to be chocolate fudge. They just want people to come in and buy their goods and leave.”
“Except for Jim, he’s shooting for Rocky Road,” Russell quipped.
“We’re trying to really concentrate on the fundamental message of respect for all,” Spar said. She noted there are concerns about the Confederate flag being flown around town. “Yes, there is history attached to the Confederate flag. We have an African-American community and this has been a symbol of white supremacy, of the KKK. We can’t forget the context,” Spar said. “It feels that it is a symbol being used by a group of extremists with a racist agenda.”
Spar invited board members to attend the Anti-Bias Task Force’s annual Unity Picnic, which is coming up on Aug. 12 from noon to 4 p.m. at the Peconic Lane Community Center. The task force serves hamburgers, hot dogs and soft drinks and there will be live music and entertainment.
The event has grown a lot, Supervisor Scott Russell said. “The first few years, attendance was sparse. “Last year there was a great crowd. I think it was the hottest day of the year, too,” he said. “I’ve gotta say nothing promotes unity more than sharing heat stroke together,” he joked.
