I never know where life with my daughter Johanna will lead me. And when you add her older siblings in the mix, it’s even a greater adventure!
Last week, in just 48 hours, I stepped off a plane from Florida, ran a workshop at a hotel in Suffolk County, did a talk in western Nassau and somehow managed to land in the parking lot of Roosevelt Field Mall, with 1,500 people dancing and clapping at a concert of a former Disney star. I would say I’m getting too old for this stuff, but I’ve done more crazy stuff since I turned 50 than I ever did in my 30s. Life with young-adult kids is a trip.
Thanks to Microsoft, my daughters, Johanna, MaryAngela and I attended a free, 90-minute Demi Lovato concert in the parking lot of Roosevelt Field last Saturday night. While most of the people there waited over night to get the free tickets, I used my advocacy skills to get us reserved seating, courtesy of Microsoft’s PR department. After I explained that camping out with Johanna wasn’t possible, they graciously reserved the tickets and even stayed in touch with me via phone and email to be certain that we had everything we needed. The girls and I were big fans of Demi Lovato when she first rose to stardom on Disney’s “Camp Rock” videos. Unlike some Disney stars, Lovato had a great voice and an energetic and fun demeanor. Although none of my kids would admit it today, we also remembered Lovato’s debut as a “Barney and Friends” star.
Like many childhood stars, Lovato crashed and burned, ending up in rehab at the young age of 18. But unlike most, she learned some powerful lessons and has lived to tell her story to help other teens and young adults. I knew a little of her story; I knew she had some kind of nervous breakdown and substance abuse history. But until last week, I had no idea the depth of character and the impact she has on her fans, whom she affectionately calls her “fam.”
The concert was clean — no “twerking “ or gyrations, just great songs and stories, lots of stories. There were many families at this concert. Parents a little older and younger than me, many with teenagers and young children in tow. Everyone was truly enjoying this warm Saturday evening under the setting sun in the mall parking lot.
In the middle of this fun time, Demi Lovato used her stardom position to speak to parents and teens about mental health. She encouraged those who were struggling with eating disorders, depression, and in particular, cutting, which has become an epidemic among teenagers and young adults, to decide to tell one person that they needed help. Lovato encouraged parents to love and listen to their kids and get them the help she found through her family, friends and health professionals. Lovato believes that she was given a voice, not only to sing, but also to share the struggles she has gone through so as to encourage others to get the help they need.
The audience was profoundly moved by her message, which gave hope to so many. I was deeply touched, having struggled as a teenager with some of those same issues. While I knew some of Lovato’s story, I hadn’t realized until later that she struggled with an eating disorder, cutting, substance abuse and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. In the past week, as I reflected on Lovato’s message, I was struck with the courage she possessed to share her story with the world. It is a message that needs to be told, in the culture and in particular, in churches.
While mental health is more supported in our culture it is rarely spoken about in a healthy way among those who profess belief in God. It’s as if we fear that we are offending God to confess that we are struggling with issues of depression, addictions and suicidal thoughts. In many churches the devil gets blamed for all negative thoughts and mental health issues are swept under the rug in favor of claiming faith in God as the only solution to the difficulties of this life. While every challenge in life is better met with faith in God, the Lord does not want us to choose between faith and human wisdom. The two are meant to go hand and in hand.
Last year, many believers were struck with the suicide of Pastor Rick and Kay Warren’s 27-year-old son, Matthew. Pastor Rick Warren, the author of the New York Times’ bestseller, The Purpose Driven Life and founding pastor of the world renowned, Saddleback Churches, is an inspiration to millions of people, even those who have never stepped foot in a church. This tragedy rocked their world and the world of many churches around the globe. But rather than succumbing to shame and hiding behind their faith, the Warrens began to speak an encouraging and challenging message to believers everywhere. They gave people of faith permission to share their private pain of mental illness and encouraged believers to reach out in love, with prayer and strategies to heal the whole person, body, mind and spirit.
This past spring, the Saddleback Church, in conjunction with representatives from many denominations, formed the first annual summit entitled “Mental Health and the Church.” The workshops from the conference are available to view online at http://mentalhealthandthechurch.com.
The scriptures are filled with examples of believers who struggled with depression and anxiety including King Saul (I Samuel 16:14-23), the prophet Jeremiah (Book of Jeremiah), as well as King David in the Book of Psalms. The Psalms of David recount every human emotion including profound reflections on anger, depression and anxiety. All are presented to God with honesty, in praise and faith.
The apostle Paul in his letters shares his struggles of trials, temptations and tribulations and calls on Christians to “dismiss anxiety and present your needs to God in petitions filled with gratitude so that the peace of God may stand guard over our hearts and minds in Christ.” (Philippians 4:6-7) Even Mary the mother of Jesus expresses her frustration as she and Joseph searched for Jesus as she says, “Son, your father and I have been searching for you with great anxiety.” (Luke 2:48) She gives us an example for dealing with this struggle as Luke recounts, “Mary treasured these words and pondered them in her heart.”(Luke 2:51)
Throughout my life, I have struggled with the ups and down of anxiety and depression. I have matured in my faith to understand how God’s love encourages us to care for self and others with the tools He gives us in everyday life. I have learned that to be Christian means to follow Christ, who became man so that we might have abundant life (John 10:10). With prayer and praise as the foundation of my life, I have learned to utilize counseling, nutrition, natural supplements and exercise as part of living a life of purpose and balance.
God encourages us to live a healthy life of balance in body, mind and spirit. He uses every means in the church and in the world to show us His love. As God speaks to us in scripture, He also can use rock stars to remind us that we are not alone, even in our struggles for mental health.
I have decided to join Demi Lovato’s “fam club” and enjoy rocking the world with her particular message of healing and hope. God knows we need more voices like hers in this world.
