It’s been just over one year since Mattituck’s Kaitlyn Doorhy died after being struck by a car while away at college — but those who love her are working hard every day to ensure her memory will live forever.
Kait’s mother Darla Doorhy met with local PTA representatives yesterday at Cutchogue East Elementary School, to discuss the idea of installing of Buddy Benches in Kait’s memory at each elementary school on the North Fork, including Southold, Greenport, New Suffolk, Aquebogue, and Oysterponds.
Last November, braving cold winds and carrying bursts of sunshine in the sunflowers she loved, with bright pink T-shirts and roses, the community gathered with the Mattituck Cutchogue PTA, which dedicated “Kaitlyn’s Buddy Bench” in her memory to the children of Cutchogue East Elementary School.
Her voice breaking with tears, Cutchogue East Elementary School Principal Kathleen Devine began the ceremony last fall by saying it was an “honor” to remember Kaitlyn in a place where she left a lifetime legacy.
Lisa Fox, PTA president, said that when Kaitlyn died, hearts were broken across the school district, with the PTA knowing they wanted to do something special to remember her.
Reflecting back on when Kaitlyn began kindergarten in 1999, she said the district not only gained a “smart and beautiful girl” but a “family” who dedicates them selflessly to the district. Kaitlyn’s mother was a past PTA president and is still active in the Friends of Music Program. Kaitlyn’s father Joe Doorhy, she said, is dedicated to the Mattituck Athletic Booster Club, and Kaitlyn’s sister Carly is involved with sports and school activities, too.
At the ribbon cutting, Kaitlyn’s was remembered for her long list of academic and extra-curricular accomplishments, as well as her incredible work ethic, including three jobs. Not only did she graduate with honors, but Kaitlyn was an alter server at Sacred Heart, a member of the NJROTC, a Girl Scout who received the highest honors, National Honor Society, varsity soccer, and first place in DECA.
In her sorority, she was a rising star, she was a whiz at computers, volunteered at Maureen’s Haven, a local blood drive, participated in Relay for Life, a 5K run for the Mattituck High School booster club, and received the highest scores at the NYSSMA music festival. She was an enthusiastic cheerleader, soccer player, artist, vocalist, and spent years in dance. And she participated in the National Youth Leadership Conference in Washington, DC in 2009.
But it was in remembering her spirit of philanthropy that Kait’s Angels, a not-for-profit organization aimed at acts of kindness and helping others in need, was born. Over the past year, events have included a designer Wingo fundraiser on Kait’s 21st birthday, a Poker Run, and a yard sale to help the family of Benjamin Pileski, another young Mattituck man struck by a car in Montauk on July 4 weekend.
The Buddy Benches, Doorhy said, are a perfect way to share her daughter’s love for helping others: According to the Christian’s Buddy Bench website, which created the idea, “The buddy bench is a simple idea to eliminate loneliness and foster friendship on the playground. Let’s spread the message of inclusion and kindness.”
The idea is that children who are feeling alone or bullied can sit on the bench and have a friend sit down with them, breaking down the walls and opening the doors for new friendships and a sense of belonging.
Since last year when the first Buddy Bench was installed at Cutchogue East, said Laurie Italia, who was instrumental in the effort, there have been heartwarming stories told by teachers of how children reached out to others on the bench, so that they would have a new “buddy” and not be alone.
Jeannette Cooper, a parent at the New Suffolk School, as well as Sara Campbell, lead teacher at the New Suffolk School, and Dawn Grzegorczyk, PTA president at Southold Elementary School, met with Doorhy by the bench yesterday and all embraced the idea.
Doorhy said the PTA is close to her heart, and she feels it’s critical that all funds raised by Kait’s Angels are used to help students and individuals on the North Fork.
The benches, which cost approximately $900 each, will be paid for by Kait’s Angels and shipped to each North Fork elementary school that expresses an interest, with a dedication ceremony for each, hopefully attended by all the children in each school, Doorhy said.
Also a tenet of Kait’s Angels, are cards, given out to members, that can be passed along while acts of kindness are performed. Recently, a person went to Starbucks and paid for the 21 people behind them in line, to honor Kait’s 21st birthday. The aim is to pay it forward, always, in Kait’s memory.
Her daughter, Doorhy said, was single-minded in her devotion to giving back, bringing home stories of people in need and enlisting her parents to help organize fundraisers and initiatives to help, all the while working her own three jobs.
The benches, she said, will not only help to prevent bullying and to forge friendships, but also, to keep her daughter’s mission to help others moving forward, with her story told to countless children in the future.
“Kaitlyn was changing the world,” Doorhy said. “We want to make sure her memory lives on forever.”
